singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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