i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
