WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
