I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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