I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
