Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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