I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
