Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize