I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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