That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
