I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
