I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
