love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
