New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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