ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
