i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize