i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
