you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
