I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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