Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
