just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
