I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
