sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
