I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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