I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
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It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
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How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
tell me about the eggs
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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