i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
