Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
