I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
