I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
