i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize