Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
