absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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