I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Still dying that you shit outside
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
