wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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