we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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