do herpes really smell.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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