I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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