Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
