so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
