You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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