she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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