Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
