Don't you send me to vm
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
