I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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