the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
