dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
