What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
