i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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