Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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