It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
