It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
