Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
