Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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