I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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