id be glad to
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
