Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
