their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
