How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize