happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
