David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
